Well, it's been a while since I had the time to sit down and reflect on my activities. The last couple of years have been pretty busy for me. I created my weather machine and wreaked havoc on asia with a tsunami, I created a devastating hurricane which hit New Orleans, but most of all I thought. I thought about things. Large things, small things, black things, tall things all sorts of things. I am fascinated and disinterested in things. I mean, take the other evening for example. I was walking my dog Fritz alone along the Nile and a fucking croc came out of the water and ate him. I mean wtf?!? There was nothing I could do about it. The weirdest thing was that right after that happened I was suddenly on my couch at home getting woken up by the rspca at my door.
"Open up Mr.Knoxicle, it's the RSPCA!". The voice was coming from the front door but I could barely hear it over the static on my radio. "What?!?", I yelled, but it was no use. The window in the kitchen burst open and armed men began pouring in. I ran out of my living room in my bathrobe and locked myself in the bedroom. I couldn't think straight, what was going on? I didn't do anything wrong, what could they want? The fierceness of the RSPCA was notorious in these parts, they would stop at nothing to protect and punish those who mistreated their animals, but I couldn't remember what had happened.
It was valentine's day and I had set the table for two. Beautiful candles laid out on the table and a shitty red tablecloth with hearts on it. I was so lonely I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to upset Sparky. "Sparky you piece of shit, come here!!!!", I yelled. Sparky was my terrier. My only family in the cold harsh world. I had loved him and he had loved me, many times in the mouth, but behing that plutonic fascination with s&m we knew we were right for each other. Sparky galloped up and onto his chair and then I watched lost.