So the U.S. has some economic problems or something. Luckily, i'm here to save the day. I have a plan that can turn this whole thing around. All we have to do is auction the White House. It's the one piece of real-estate not in the shithouse. The President and his or her family can move into a tower, built right in the central area of the Pentagon... there's nothing valuable there now anyway. What's more, we can make the tower out of gold, with a giant diamond dildo on top. That way, it will be funny, and no one will want to destroy it. Plus, the exterior of the tower could be interwoven with nano-tech solar-panels, so any future President dickwads like Reagan won't be able to take them down.

I bet Saudi Arabia would pay like 10 trillion dollars for the White House.

You're welcome.