In light of the recent proliferation of ridiculous threads, here's my effort.

To create the best player we need the best material. After capturing all top Quake players, I have sealed them in cryogenic chambers to await the DNA splicing program.

Categories for analysis include: weapons, timing, movement, speed, reflexes, dodging, battle tactics, composure, aggression, defensive play and gamesmanship (messing with opponents heads). Add any other categories you think relevant.

For example.

Name: Omega

Gauntlet: Strenx
MG: noctis
SG: Cooller (source: Dick Cheney)
GL: Baksteen
RL: Cypher
LG: Evil
RG: Killsen
PG: Av3k

Timing: Rapha
Movement: Cypher
Speed: Evil
Reflexes: Zero4
Dodging: Tox
Battle tactics: Fox
Composure: Rapha
Aggression: Av3k
Defensive play: Rapha
Gamesmanship: Cooller

This player will surely dominate any natural born player, past, present, or future.