I recently saw I Don't Know Jack, a documentary about the actor Jack Nance. It consists of interviews with friends and family. They talk about his acting "career" and his personal issues. One of those issues is alcoholism.

Alcohol depicts some kind of threat to me. I went to big parties when I was 15 years old and it always ended in one big drinking bout. The boys went crazy, the girls did too and I got the craziest of them all. But on the next morning you went home and it was over. Your body was full of poison and you felt miserable.

The alcohol passed my youth and did not harm my progression. What did was the weed. For about 3 years I constantly smoked the bong. It was hell. Well no, it was heaven, but it became hell once I was sober enough to realize my miserable existence. I will need another 2 years to get out of that.

I immediately felt familiar with his face as I looked at some pictures of Jack Nance in his good times. He not only had the fire of an artist in his eyes, there also was that weakness. His wonderful glare makes me feel like a baby again.