For the past week I've gone to school for 8 hours, come home, worked for 8 hours on finishing up the equivalent of my coursework projects in chemistry, physics, economics and maths. Everyday. This is my second-last week of school, and since I've been a lazy fuck the past year, this is also the week when I try to squeeze two years' work into one week so I don't flunk the program before I even take the exams.

The question that keeps popping into my head is why? Why have I spent the last 2 years taking the road less taken, working 3 times as hard as most people in the Finnish school system, doing 6 subjects instead of 3? Will it be worth it? The question really applies to everything in life - why is anything worth doing? What possible difference can that extra bit of effort you make to meet a deadline that someone sitting in a plush office in Geneva has set for the 100,000 students studying in this program in 118 countries?

The past 2 years are a blur, and the most significant thing I will remember about school is getting out of it. I don't remember the classes, I don't remember the material, I don't really care about my grades because I'm convinced that never do I want to get stuck in anything that will leave a 2-year smudge on my memory. There is nothing redeeming about the IB program, and very little of anything else actually produces any sort of overwhelming sense of well-being for me. To quote Office Space: "If I had a million dollars, I'd do nothing. Absolutely nothing."

There's the off-chance that I won't get stuck doing something absolutely horrible for the rest of my life, but even if I did make, say, e-sports my career, I'd be turning a great hobby into a shit job. Nothing is as glamorous as it seems on the surface, so why bother trying?

The root of the problem (outside of me being completely braindead from spending the past 8 hours typing out statistics, experimental results and conclusions) lies in that none of this, none of these "achievements" by which we measure our lives really affect it in any way. Your middle school grades are forgotten as soon as you get into high school. Your high school grades are forgotten in Uni, and your degree is overwhelmed soon enough by the "Past work experience:" box on your CV.

None of what you accomplish today has any real meaning tomorrow - why bother?

This isn't just rhetorical, if someone can answer my 29 questions with good reasons, this will be much appreciated once I get some sleep and OD on caffeine.