I hope you like these designs

they suck =(

you gotta be classy ))

never noticed they are all vice presidents

The banter is obviously between people on the same level, bantering upwards is a sign of disrespect and trolling down a sign of bad leadership.

My friend works at Morgan Stanley and he is a vice president, its pretty much an entry level position for hundreds of people across many different roles.

Sounds impressive doesn't it, I didn't ask why they did it, just assumed it was one of those douche bag city banker things they do to feel self important like this scene shows.

Its quite scary how true to life this scene is in those circles.

If you are talking about your friend that is stuck in the 80s, then yes.

Hah, that scene was the first thing that came to my mind when I saw the title of this entry. So good.

"Looks like crap, it is crap."
EDIT: Rofl his card looks like shit.

never fully understood the ending of that movie. Someone on ESR must have read the book, right?.

I have not seen the movie and read the book years ago, and I do not remember being puzzled by this. So I would say if something really happened or not within the plot is not so important, but what you write about society and group pressure is of greatest importance for enjoying this book, and you write this very clearly. The superficiality and loss of moral values in a hermetic system where people wear a mask of sanity when in fact their individual actions must be called insane, is what really should have cause the hype IMO. And not the grotesque amount of unspeakable violence, which is used by the author in an almost satirical fashion.

Yep, the ending itself doesn't matter much in this case.

I re-watched it now and what I liked most about the movie was the symbolism. It is also filled with seemingly silly details to reinforce the concepts (for example no one ever goes to Dorsia).

I think my doubts come from bad movie execution, such as the script being subpar at times (the focus should be more on Bateman's thoughts rather than on filling the screen with blood) and not flawless editing (seems rushed from 60:00 and onwards. Pretty common actually). Still is at least an 8/10 and now I want to read the book.

Read the book, you won't regret it. I saw the movie first too and then read the book and was blown away. If you are more interested with Batemen's thoughts, the book will deliver them unto you ( not that the book isn't 10x as graphic as the movie).

seen movie and read the book, forgot both
EDIT: remember 1st half of book was good/okay, then repeats itself too much, can stop reading after 1st half
EDIT2: Remember reading somewhere that the author of the book himself claimed somewhere that this repetition was an expression of art and he wanted to show how repetetive the life of bateman is ...
still you as a reader don't get anything out of the book in 2nd half imho.

First thing i thought of... fuck i love this film/book

I assume the microsoft and oracle cert you have is a joke consider you just have "Microsoft Certified IT Professional", which basically means you have a cert, it's just probably so shit you don't want to show what it actually is. same for the oracle one.

save your crappy non-work experience for your resume, these cards are really bad and you should consider never printing these if you want to be taken seriously in a professional environment

lolwat

they're terrible

No, they're not. Your incoherent, butthurt post, on the other hand, is.

are you joking? it's useless to put the microsoft and oracle graphics on there, they don't actually prove what certifications he has, just that he has some under those two companies. he's giving no real information, he's just probably hiding that his certs are shit but wants to show that he has something.

half of the card space is dedicated to being a phony.

What does any of that have to do with the way they are designed? He could put two fat dicks in those spaces, wouldn't change the design itself you dummy. On that note, it's good that you know better than he does what are his qualifications and how legitimate they are.

I'm not saying their not legit, I'm saying their probably shit, otherwise he'd put what specific cert he has instead of generalizing and saying he has a microsoft cert (there's shitloads of ms certs)

if you remove the graphics there's just a name and a number. it doesn't look good

you're also implying adding and removing graphics doesn't alter the design of the card. LOL

I'm not implying jack shit, I'm saying they do not impact the over-all design of the cards, as long as he puts anything there to fill the spaces that follows a similar pattern of aesthetics. You can't be that dense to not understand how the flow of aesthetics is separate from whatever the fuck those certs say and how true and representative they are.

the validity of the certs has nothing to do with the design and I never said they did.

Yes you did, you said the cards are terrible.

yeah the design of the cards are terrible, and it just so happens he shouldn't have the graphics there for a number of reasons, one being design, another being it doesn't answer any questions I'd have about him (what cert is the ms one?) regardless his position is more important than certs, which is why I told him he should 100% have his position on the card and forget the cert graphics, save it for the resume

There's nothing on those cards, design and aesthetics wise that is terrible.

let me know when you start working in a professional work environment so I can know when your perspective will change

So I can, similarly to you, not distinguish between "generic" and "terrible" and also associate visual design with validity of presented information? lol ok.

it's generic, therefor it's terrible (to me)

don't care about you

Something cannot be "generic" and "terrible" at the same time.

you're an example of why that's not true.

That doesn't even make sense. Why don't you apply logic to one of your posts for a change and try to explain your way out of that argumentative hole you dug yourself into?

honestly man just stop. something can be generic and terrible at the same time, they're called adjectives dude. youre telling me something can't be generic and terrible at the same time, so I guess something can't be unique and amazing at the same time? they're just opposites of the words I said, yet according to you that can't happen.

you're either really dumb or bored or a troll. just stop dude

"Unique" and "amazing" don't clash when used in describing something, "generic" and "terrible" do. Those are very simple concepts, why are you struggling with this so much?

"simple concepts" meaning "make it up as you go"

I'm sorry, did you just say that I made up the difference in meaning between "generic" and "terrible"? I suggest you go look up the definitions of those words. Unless you have some crippling cognitive disability you should be able to figure it out. Good luck.

you're the perfect example of why everyone hates art students

Wow, you really are this dumb.

kill yourself bro

Why should I? I'm not the one who fails at comprehension.

comprehension of some bullshit rules made up by an art student? something can't be generic and terrible at the same time according to this dope. it's stupid to say that and it's stupid to agree with it

Do you know the meaning of the words 'generic' and 'terrible'?
Thinking is not for you, is it? Much easier to talk down on someone and call him an art student (What kind of insult is that anyway?) to feel superior.

thats what a hole would say

stop trying to act like you understand design when you already said you liked the most template-looking business cards I've ever seen

the cards are awful and so are you

also I don't have to explain anything because your statements are nothing short of stupid.

Oh okay, that's why you had to reply four times to one of my posts while also doing multiple edits. You just don't care so much. Gotcha.

typos

crypos*

If I were to give out my card it would be in 3 circumstances:
1. to a microsoft DBA who would already be able to guess what that certification is (excluding the version specifics)
2. to an oracle DBA who wouldn't really give a shit about what that microsoft cert is (other than guessing its database related)
3. to some asian girl I just met as a way to awkwardly give her my phone number, neither certs will be of relevence here

Honestly my opinion still stands, if you're just giving it to dbas then I still think the certs aren't necessary. you're already a dba so unless your certs are required for jobs that are higher than your current one, it's not necessary to put them on there. you won't be remembered as a dba with xxx certs, you'll be remembered as a dba.

I'm not saying people won't care, but you're already a dba, so you proved your competence.

print the ones you showed for the asian girls though, it might give you that razer unfair advantage

I just tried to make it like what i assume would be the standards (although i cant find any online to verify this)

with CVs you get people who stick on logos (guy I work with) then you get those who just put the text (me)...assume business cards would have the same

oh, I can download the full logo now~ http://www.pasteall.org/pic/show.php?id=55999

MS suggests either version~ http://www.pasteall.org/pic/show.php?id=56000

the logos on cvs are resumes are fine, sometimes it can work well with their design but other times it can look like a mess.

you don't need the company logo per-se, at least the name in text. add the logo if it fits aesthetically, which in the example you linked, does not.

the font choice is generic, it's cluttered and not very organized well, a lot of color, the email doesn't need to be blue, and nothing is really aligned well.

take a look at more professional cards, do some searches on google so you can find ideas from links like this http://psd.fanextra.com/articles/40-stunningl...ess-cards/

I might care too much about how a business card should look, but I'm the same way with websites, shirts, mostly anything promotional. most of the time people want to make something unique and "different" from the norm, except most of the time it falls extremely short. I don't fault you for trying, I just don't want to send you out with a shit business card

the text is centre-aligned -_
and similar to my awesome CV where the top is centred like:

name
long address
email + phone number with tabbing to appear towards opposite ends of my name

I'll go into more detail then.

your name isn't centered, nor is it the main focus of the card. all the other graphics are. your name should be the most important, dominant thing on the card. right now it's not.

the logos make the card look cramped and hard to look at. having the graphic on the left doesn't make it any better. you should look into making the logos smaller and aligning them properly.

your card doesn't follow the typical business card format, you just dragged and dropped text and logos in a square until it "fit". there's no flow to the card, nor is it easy to look at. you need to look at other business cards and take note of how they align content on the card, there's a number of styles but they're all similar in a way.

the graphics do not help at all. especially adding in the company logo hurts it so much. you need to seriously remove them because it just looks bad, plain and simple. I'm not trying to be mean but I'm not going to bullshit you

it could be boss if ingrained & word would let me curve the text more :o http://www.pasteall.org/pic/show.php?id=56031

the oracle 1 names the complete cert you noob
microsoft 1 doesnt because thats the design they say to use, following guidelines etc

honestly just save it for the resume and put your title (I just saw that the bottom right one is the only one that actually lists what you do, you should absolutely have that on the card). the card will look 100x better without the pictures

plus the entire design of the card just screams "I found these online". how are you printing the cards? what stock are you using? what type of printer? people will notice how generic and template-like the cards look, especially when you start colorizing it

I haven't printed them, I just stole all the designs I liked from MS then messed around in word. I might try printing them on the printer at work to see how they look that way but can't remember if it supports colour (assume so)

still though, how boss is my linkedin styling =P http://www.pasteall.org/pic/show.php?id=55998

oh lord your linkedin looks like a blog post.

hey if you're having fun who cares!

blog post how? its the personal statement section, its supposed to be personalised :P
the portfolio part was a new feature i tried though :o think it looks OK except I told them to let me move it to other sections than the summary & to let me choose how to crop for the thumbnails. not really relevent for the job though

main part of linkedin is the job history part anyways so np~

maybe if you spent less time trolling internet forms you'd have a "common sense" understanding of what's acceptable in a professional business environment. you shouldn't have to be told not to put emoticons on your online resume.

this site is just filled with people who never leave the house.

there's only 1 emoticon on my linkedin & considering the number of messages from recruiters i dont think they deem it as an issue

I'm agreeing with you this whole thread, but some companies these days have hipsters in charge, not professional as it were in the old days anymore.

So let him be a doofus, it might actually impress them by being so laid back and corny.

just try to find what what some other dbas cards look like and go from there. anything I'd recommend will look "generic" to you, even though it looks professional. if I find something I think fits I'll link you

thats pretty cool though ;o http://cdn.cardnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dreamten1.jpg

and that's exactly the kind of formatting style your card should have. logo top left (not massive), name and site underneath, and contact information at the bottom, properly aligned and formatted correctly (notice how the name is bold and nothing else is).

Perhaps ask your colleagues about their preferred style, and the employer. I would not use these professionally as they look too generic.

generic? most people have plain white -_

You wanna stay away from the green, you're not Irish are you.

The desert one has a nice color composition, I'd go with that.

Do yourself a favour and download Adobe InDesign. Dead easy to use, just set up your document to be business card sized, set an appropriate grid and use a decent font.

my editing skills will still suck regardless of the tool :P

Well whatever you do, don't use one of the designs you have given above. This shouldn't offend you, but I can't stress enough how easy it is you make something better than you have already produced, just follow basic design principles.

If you really can't do it yourself, pay someone else :)

if its so easy then show me =P you have 30 minutes (more than i spent)

haha, knew you'd say that :)

I actually did open up a new document before that last comment, only to close it 10 minutes later questioning why I started it. ill give it another shot now.

edit: ah, f-it again. why am I spending my Saturday on your business card?! :D

to prove how easy it is =P

T1E couldnt do it

they all look shit, no offense.

also business cards are for people who cant leave impressions on their own )

Yeah I don't see the point of them really. Nobody has ever given me 1 in the uk but I received quite a few in China

In the UK I'd just write down their name in my phone after walking away then linkedin stalk them afterwards

and what do you do with all these "contacts" in linkedin?

nothing~ just add them.

i add random strangers in china & ask them what kind of salaries are possible there
random strangers from recruiting firms add me for jobs/future reference

Try working with this attitude in China. GL!

the focus should be on the quality, not so much the design. yes the design is important, but simplicity works in a business card, especially if it's paired up with a nice card stock and proper print (example here http://psd.fanextra.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/cards7.jpg) notice how the text is imprinted, not printed on.

trying to focus on some crazy coloured filled design won't mean anything if it's printed with a crappy laser printed and put on awful stock.

you should have your name, position, work phone, work email, and company name at the least. add a personal phone if you want.

you'll pay more per card but if you really care about quality what a business card means to you, it's worth it. if you want to actually go above and beyond, you'd have to design something unique like this - http://www.youthedesigner.com/wp-content/uplo...ign-02.jpg

I've always hated anything db related, but I imagine there's some cool unique design out there that could incoroporate databases and a business card (maybe your card could have cells on it, making it look like part of a db, with your info in it?)

people have an eye for bad business cards and I'd hate to see another person just printing a template they saw online with a laser printer because they've never been shown or told better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoXaRORian4

ingrained would cost $$$ im not some CEO/manager/sales person selling to representing a company, its self-representation

the 2nd & 3rd examples you gave suck because of the fact that you couldnt fit them anywhere, the first looks ok just because of the ingrain

thread delivers

Made one for you:

i rank it 5th/6th on the list

LOL xD

razer abyssus? i can spot some jittery action ))

not jitter - it just uses every pixel available

The cut off Win Logo is priceless

G I L L Z
I
L
L
Z

Remove that color banner on the left, looks like a flyer to a titty bar.

find some designer man! what are they? they look like cheap and not designed and old fashined simple business cards...

Sorry, the design's terrible. Check out the "The Non Designers Design Book` -- an excellent, practical (and free!) read + tips for people without a proper design background.

Also learn some real IT skills. MS and Oracle certificates scream "mundane replaceable enterprise cogwheel". Or maybe that's the career you're going for? Whatever.

"mundane replaceable enterprise cogwheel"

that's half the reason I told him to take them off.

the other half being it looks like shit

my design skills are awesome

dont be so jelly

Do it right

http://www.plasmadesign.co.uk/metal-business-cards/

some of them look ok but then £250 starting -_ and 100 minimum :s

You won't give it out to that many though and you'll stand out from the rest of the dorks with all the same credentials and £9.99 designs from Vistaprint.

Anyway fuck this, this heatwave is killing me. I'm going for a midnight skinny fatty dip down the beach.

it aint hot now =/ breeze has been blowing in for hours now

I hate the Oracle and Microsoft logos. You should just put it there in plain text imo.

yea i guess, did the same with the CV

http://i.imgur.com/QpGMb1K.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/7P4NqXN.jpg
so fancy

first ones really cool :o the 2nd one is ok but the design could have been a lot better

http://imgur.com/0Igu8Q3

dont like the pattern ;x but nice effort

just a word of advice if you will go with it by yourself: less is more, don't be afraid of going with to small and fragile font cause bussiness cards are printed in 300dpi, watch the margin between the graphics and the edge of the card cause reliable printable area is smaller than bussiness card itself and watch for the distribution of the elements.

i am thinking of this now: http://www.pasteall.org/pic/show.php?id=56041
because its more relevent/unique for my job

I'm wondering if I can mimic the ingrain effect by printing on to card & then going over the lines (text etc) with a pen/pencil/knife...would need to get some card to see o:

dird, koziol's card is 10000x better than any of yours.

gratz on creating/advising the only decent card design on this page)

I do this for the lving and it was 20 sec job, but thanks anyway:]

gratz on creating one of the only 2 card designs on this page* )

Are you going straight into freelancing after grad?

i graduated 2 year ago -_

oops... read "..passed an exam" and thought you were just finished :o

nah :p generic work exam

I saw your original cards, and wanted to combine all ideas from them and the suggestions here and turn the volume up to "presentable". Here is my narrative & train of thought:

1) Background colourful as fuck - it needs to catch the eye and plain white doesn't cut anymore, this be 2013 son, shit better be popping off in my eyes or i want my money back and you should too. Bonus if this is made out of plastic or GOLD with same colours. Like, colour as on here but made from MOTHERFUCKING GOLD.

2) Change name to Tyler Durden and use McKay as middle name. That way you can be proven to be that dude from Seattle who nearly killed Ed Norton and shit and is married to that holly wood chick with an adoption fetish. They say he's in hollywood and you aint? Tell them what the fuck and its like you are Norton, that dude and yourself on card in three different forms, depending on when you're sleeping. Also if they DO ask you bout it you treat them like fucking retards for not seeing the movie. EVERYONE saw the movie.

3) So they know you're tough as fuck and a militant leader and shit but you need to put that you ain't some button-down Oxford shirt psycho who just snaps at people every chance he gets, so that's what part of your surname is now a motherfucking chilled out nickname (m'kay instead of McKay). Same phonetics as before and shit but it shows you have a softer side and like southpark. Bitches be all over that.

4) Tie down the Fight Club story with the email that ends with fightclub.com. You dont even need to have that domain or set up an email for that. It's 2013 so nobody uses email anymore anyway, unless they are old as fuck and who wants to work for cunts like that? Only relevant way to contact people nowdays is just twitter, steam and LoL username anyway. So they wont even check your email (probably).

5) Comic sans telephone number. Cos comic sans is fucking awesome and you need to prove that you are not afraid to break the mold son, 2 fonts showing that you have an ability to see the world from a wide berth and you are able to negotiate whatever you know what i mean.

6) 007 in phone number, like james bond and shit, they be thinking you a secret agent with a licence to kill. I also put a Maybach in bottom right corner cos that's the shit James Bond be driving all over the world. People want to hire james bond, except for Judi Dench but she dead or old or something.

7) Instead of boring ass microshit and oracle certs, use icons instead. Win98 for Microsoft to show that you're also wise (like motherfucking GANDALF) and remember old ass technology whicn no-one else could possibly remember. Win98 is like the first windows ever and they like "remember when it came out?" and you're like "fuck yea! its on my card son!!!!!!!" and then they're like "we wanna hire you" and you pull out your dick and slap them on the face with it but they be so intrigued and blown away by your card that they hire you anyway.

8) To further proove that YOU CERTIFIED, write "CERTIFIED" but in pink instead of black cos black is for your name and phone, but certified is different thing so it's a different color. Make a face and color it red and put it in front of the Maybach so put a ^_^ face just after it (in RED) to show that you may be an ice cold killer with a licence to kill, but you also a scroundel with a heart of gold and compassion. Cover all bases son.

8) You already got one boring as fuck gif in top right corner, so intead of oracle gif, how about a FUCKING AIRPLANE. Everyone loves those sky-faring mosquito-like shits that be buzzing away up in the sky like superman but without superpowers cos they dont even need them!!!! One Australian dude broke record for highest fall when he jumped from 100000 miles up in the sky from the SAME FUCKING TYPE OF AIRPLANE. That had red bull on it instead of ORACLE but who the fuck goes after details, when Jesus crossed the Atlantic bearfoot to get to America people didnt give a fuck about semantics, they were CELEBRATING SOMETHING WHICH IS AWESOME. Don't forget to stress that Red Bull did EXACTLY the same shit as you, equally as good. Australian dude who jumped be a high-flyer, you a high flyer too. And I added miniguns that shoot gold bullets cos you aint just a high flyer you a ONE MAN ARMY.

9) BLING. Diamionds, white gold and platinum and a DOLLAR SIGN $. Because everyone loves bling and you showing a testament of power. Egyptians had Pyramids, Russel Brand has the hair, sc2 has SeltezerPlease, Reagan had Regonomics. Well FUCK THEM ALL COS YOUR BLING BE DOING THE SAME FOR YOU BUT BETTER. AINT NOBODY TOUCHING YOUR ICE.

10) MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every card should really have those, the pink one is so badass he be charging that maybach and shit. Despite it's James Bond's (your!!!!) maybach so it's probably made from space metal but who gives a fuck? Pink dinosaur doesnt and that shows you dont be doing that silly shit and go for the gusto. You taking calculated risks that make you PREVAIL. Then the 2 flying ones are protecting your bling as a symbol they be the imperial guard and your loyal soldiers like in JURRASSIC PARK, and the yellow one be chilling on the corner air drying his balls in front of the whole world. Cos he OWNS the whole world so he dont care. Go-getter mentality. I think the dinosaurs are the best part of the card cos It's like the same principle as faceshots on an acter's portfolio to demostrate ranges of emoticons and shit.

did you do that microsoft mouse? with lasers & shit

that and DAIKATANA but I don't like to talk about the second one :(

loving it

Im no designer, but what do you mean 'which style'? They all have pretty much same aligment of elements, same font (despite different colors), same number of element (on most of them).
To me they look ok, just change the e-mail font to something boldish (change it, really). Maybe find a better font for your name on the card.

ps. super-koziol's version looks great ;) The less -- the more!

i've never understood why people put certification logos on their business cards.

i think you should make two types of business cards: one that complies with style guides of your employer and one personal with simple info like "air balloon lover and metallica fan", for example. personal can be with shadyak design, it doesn't matter. :)

All are bad.. why? they are the wrong size, business cards should be 86x54(card card iso size)

O also no company name

company name?
s'all about me

then its not a 'business' card :)

suppose~ i could always stick a logo on the back...but im not some sales person/manager representing them

http://youtu.be/iTdeI-h_GPI