First of all I want to say that a man without a dream is no more a man but a dead. Dreams keep us young and strong. My dream? It’s something that I aim to reach without the need to get it in the end, just feeling good walking that path... First of all the non-stillness, non-immobility. Making changes whenever I want to get to something different but always myself. And stronger that everything to lose the will...

I had a lot of problems: personal, economic. My parents never helped me in my gaming career, instead... Let's say I've tried to forget about myself to beat my fears. All the other things are routine: girls, psychotherapy, drugs, university. But I've always followed the scene, although I didn't have and I don't have a connection (56k now) or a PC (burned mobo etc...).

The matter was that to be competitive at that game (as for every one) you needed good hardware and a connection. At the moment I have a 15" and a 56k so... At that time I thought that the game didn't deserve all this money to be spent on it (money that I didn't have). Also the game didn't stimulate my enthusiasm in a lot of aspects. Bad/absent feeling when fragging an opponent, as if a soap ball was around my avatar making it impossible for it to keep in contact with the others players and making it slide without sense around all the maps. No feeling...

Q3 was as a hermitage. The game is fantastic, really cleaned myself. And the fact that it’s old never scared me because... Hey! That's a great game and I had never played it. Anyway... after two weeks since I had started I thought I’d take part in a LAN in Switzerland, called Air-LAN. It was a TDM tourney for Q3 and I played for the Tulls squad because they missed the 4th guy. I did pretty well, I think because we won without losing a map.

I really don't know... It’s been too long since I was competitive in the scene, I mean, I don't even know if I can still consider myself a gamer because I haven’t played constantly for a year. But I'm sure I'll always follow the scene from a little corner to understand and make the best choices in the future. Anyway multiplayer gaming is a means/vehicle first of all (for me). I don’t play to win, although I need it so that if I get the chance I can send a greater message.

I can say that I really want to play an id game after my Epic career. Id games are much better self-made-products. I'll try UT2k4, Doom3, CS2, Q4 for sure. Anyway I'm sure that Q4 (if released) will be the one that will gather all the communities.

I made a mistake. But I would do exactly the same if time was turned back. It’s a long matter. I love online gaming, to me is a form of art that was born from this modern and weird age. Just as writing (tag etc.), making viruses or demos. Is simply a new artistic scene and the instrument is the personal PC. When I was a good player I wanted to share my art with people. I always practiced very hard and saw the game in a very personal and sensitive way. Playing was watching myself, reading my fears and my feeling because of passion... What is it if not the mirror of a man?

I retired from the 2v2 WCG 2001 the year before in the final after winning the first map (Deck 16) against Holland. I had a fight with the staff. I wanted to get the chance to repair to that failure (a failure only with myself). At that moment, during the semi final of the Italian WCG qualifier I had everything. I shook hands with Italian Intel managers because I would be sponsored their new p4 processor, people admired me and hated me, I liked myself and other "nice" things. But I was really aggravated because with the LCD monitor (used in the tournament) I couldn't express myself at all. I had spent all the summer playing, training mentally and physically, searching for a perfect balance. It was all thrown away because the machine/sys put all the players on the same level.

I was very disappointed because NGI decided to use these monitors as an attractive way to sell them after the tourney! And I had been promised to be put in the best condition by their staff who I had known really well and for a long time before the event. Money... How it can spoil something unique that you have just found... I chose myself and I wanted to give an example. I would not bow my head in front of this. I wanted to put my ideas into action, not only by saying: "This is bad" but by boycotting the event that I had waited for for a year. The best player of Italy sacrificing his dream for something that I considered important (at that moment, naturally).

I lost everything... :> An idea of a sponsor (that never even cared about what I had achieved or what I was, but only about what I could have done for them during the WCG period). Respect from the community that blamed me for acting in a childish way etc (who cares anyway?). A chance to get some money to live off (lost all money in the three years of my career). Naturally I lost my payback at WCG... (and I was a great favourite with GitzZz). I switched to Q3.

Getting together very different and very special persons for almost six months.

What does gaming give me.. I told you before. It’s a mirror of myself, and I recognise myself when I play. The game loves me cause I play it as IT wants to be played. I really understand physics or the way... Read it also this way. Schopenhauer said that art is the first step to get in touch with our inner self. It’s like a cathartic act. When I play I feel good because I forget the will of living.

Ahm... First of all I think he has to trust himself a LOT. Dunno how he gets this status... By winning with his skill (I won! I'm cool!). By using money (hey! you live in this world, I don't need to explain). By looking inside of him, what person he is. When you understand who you are, you know your destiny and have no fear. Then u can express yourself in the best way. That's why I think (and I saw) a lot of great players have strong personality: extrovert Prozac, GitzZz, and introvert Cooller, Stelam.

The difference between a good player and a god? A good player can control his feeling so as not to be afraid. A god doesn't need feeling because he has no fear.