Name: CrimisonK
Location: London
Posts: 15
Sigh, well… on due request, I type for Mr. Seven. Actually, his words were “write a Lord of the Rings review and make it interesting.” I’m hurt. Anyways… today after a usual lay about day after posting two columns which I thought seemed pretty dire compared to my usual stuff I’ve done in the past for far2cool.com (I hear Sujoy in the background as I type saying NO ADVERTISING), I headed off to Bluewater to see the epic which was. Lets just say the when I got there I had a text message from Alec “god” Ridley, who instantly goes, have you see xsreality lmao, your famous. Knowing Alec’s sense of humour I thought it would be a game about Korean gamers or something. Anyways, the movies, I’m slightly worried that if I write this you’ll all go awww I didn’t want to know that and argh you ****. So, I’ll do my best not to spoil it. By the way Gandalf dies.

The movie if anything has amazing atmosphere, the beginning of the movie was possibly in my mind on of the best bits, where Sauron comes forth and shows the mortals, Elven folk and Dwalves just who is their daddy. He seriously lays down some pure amazing scene of gratuitous violence, this being about six men per blade swipe, which is god like. The best section is where his hand is cut off and the ring falls, because simply every character on the scene is pushed down to its might in awesome domino effect. The movie brings to life the feeling of hobbit life in a most interesting way, then you’ll get the sense of saying time for teletubby bye bye, time for teletubby bye bye. I mean whoever he hell made that landscape must surely have been working in sync with the BBC because it was absolutely uncanny. What else can I cover? Well lets look into a little bit of the animation, the fire demon in the dungeon was absolutely looking in true Diablo 2 like form, it was without a doubt, despite reminding me of Diablo a sheer piece of art. How this demon suddenly came up in its head with making a fiery whip, we’ll never know after living in those dark caves for so long, but who gives a damn. The showman ship that brought it to life with the duel between it and Gandalf was nothing short of a spectacle. Can I go on about how brilliant it is ??? Ok, off how amazing that was, next, something which made me and others think, the feet. Those little tiny feet were so cool, and I’ll tell you now the work that went into creating those little toes of joy was incredible. So what does the movie give us? Loneliness to an extreme, friendship, as I’d hoped you would have gathered from the title and a sense of togetherness, even though they split up into two groups, which was very star wars style. Oh no, maybe we’ll never see each other. The movie was brilliant. If you see one movie this Christmas, go see Jenna does Texas, if you see two movies go see Silvia Saint in the UK and if you see three movies, then you must be some rich lil ***. Go see it my precious… MY PRECIOUS, go.

Dedicated for our lil' Seven`.