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funniest game review EVER :D (2 comments)
Posted by ioz @ 20:02 CDT, 22 August 2008 - iMsg
Chronicles of Riddick (User) Reviews
Gamespot

thenewau25:
"worst game ever, why first if you want graphics buy a newer game it will even give you better performance, second it has many issues and doesnt even RUN in newer pc, the story is crap, also it totally wrecks the way riddick get those eyes, the gameplay is about being in a prison escape get captured egain get to another prison escape get captured again and all over the same,, every time gets harder in the beginning you talk to outher prisoners and buy the cigarettes to unlock extras i dont see what amazing the reviewer saw in that , in the begining the game is simple after that you start figting an do stuff to get money, it wont be long before you realize that all the levels SUCK i mean these are the worst levels i ever seen in a game! the game requires that you dont atttack to aouther prisoners because machineguns turrets will kill you, also all gurads gut guns if you attack they will move backwards and keep shooting while you gonna keep attacking bu every time you attack you character will pull HANBRAKE and you wont be able to move so the guard will continue to move backwards and keep moving till he reach a wall an CLIMB UP THE ENTIRE DAMN WALL CRAP AI GARBAGE, many times ai reacts stupidly i dont understand why they talk about remarkable ai especially in fistfights its totaly idiotic , either act like bots or you get the feeling that everything is automated and you dont play at all just push the right buttons eg an enemy attack attack attacks and the damn screen goes up down all the time and you die instantly, just attack at the WRONG TIME and because the weapon is slow the enemy will take hit, CRAP more crap all the guns are dna encoded so you get hard time to get weapons most levels are sneak sneak which is impossible at most times there guards are everywhere and start shooting they see you everywhere and and your only option is to run ALL LEVELS ARE LIKE QUAKE 4 HOW THE HELL TO SNEAK IN THOSE CORRIDORS !

I AM SURE RIGHT NOW YOULL MAKE THE SMAE MISTAKE I DID BUT NO THE GAME IS NOT LIKE SPLINTER CELL OR SOMETHING ITS JUST LIKE PLAYING FEAR AND REQUIRE TO SNEAK AND KILL THEM WITH NO GUNS - IMPOSSIBLE!

The levels suck hard WORSE STEALTH GAME EVER!


The few times you got shooting you actually got guns gamespot is saying stuff like you can either shoot your way out or sneak and save ammo,

EXCUSE ME BUT IN THIS CRAPPY GAME YOU EITHER GOT NO GUNS OR ALL GUNS WITH 68 EXTRA CLIPS WHY TO SAVE AMMO YOU GOT TO SPENT IT BECAUSE YOU NEVER GET GUNS AGAIN AND BECAUSE ITS SHORT YOU WANNA GET SOME SHOOTING!

HOWEVER the shooting is crap too you aim with a laser sight but if you get to close witrh a shotgun eg you gonna keep missing also enemies take hundreds of shots, you empty entire clips one them and every time you get shotted you gte pushed back overall 3 shots wit the shotgun are needed to kill someone also i dont know what they talking about good pc import but its impossible to aim with that loose aiming was the xbox version like that too?

ALSO THERE ARE MECH ENEMIES THAT YOU CANT DEFEAT AND YOU GOT TO SNEAK PAST THEM BUT NO IT DOESNT WORK!

Many times you get crappy sutitations and the game wants me to accept them, eg climb up a wall and there is a room with a mech ,now what does that mech do there anyway? that guard inside the mech stays there forever?
and the game requires that i climb up a wall in a first person find some grabbing points and get to the outher side and then again, or the crappy ai of those bots trying to shoot up while they cant many times you get the ide that you dont actually sneak, or should i speak that everytime you get close to a specific door one guards pop out everytime dearthboring and crappy game! outher times it requires that you figuire out your self that you need to jump and stick to the edge of the point you jump and move with your back to the wall and keep moving like prince of persia in fps!!!!! Do i have to be physchic to guess that!



THE GAME DOESNT RUN

WORST LEVELS EVER

WORST SNEAKING

WORST SHOOTING

WORST CLIMBING SEQUENCES

WORST STORY

WORST STABILITY


TO EXPLAIN YOU THIS ITS A SHORT GARBAGE GAME WITH A SEQUENCE TUTORIAL QUESTS FIGHTING SHOOTING CLIMBING SNEAKING IN A SEQUENCE NOT IN VARIETY AND IN VERY CRAPPY ALL THESE ARE VERY CRAPPY AND STUPIDLY PLACED IN THE GAME, DEATH BORING CRAPPY SHORT GAME TOTALLY LINEAR TTHAT YOU WONT PLAY AGAIN AWFUL BUT DOESNT WORK ON NEW PCS AND HAS BAD PERFORMANCE

if you look for good shooting...LOOK ELSEWHERE

if you look for good stealth or climbing sequences...LOOK ELSEWHERE

if you look for good levels and story...LOOK ELSEWHERE

if you look for...PAIN, THIS IS THE GAME FOR YOU , IT MADE ME DESTROY MY PC TFT SCREEN!


This is for me the most stupid game ever the most frustrating and DUMB game i ever seen thats why its not popular and there is not a sequel, seriously no quality the biggest crap in the crappiest way!"

taken from gamespot.com
Edited by tom at 20:29 CDT, 22 August 2008 - 1996 Hits
40 rock solid reasons to get drunk (24 comments)
Posted by ioz @ 06:24 CDT, 3 September 2006 - iMsg
I went out yesterday and got pretty boozed :) 2.5L of the most wonderful beer in the country. 1.5L of Gambrinus and 1L of Pilsner Urquell - fresh draught beer. It was a mini pub crawl really (2 pubs).
No hangover today (yaaay), my piss is crystal clear and odorless (yaay) and I'm feeling great :D
The point is I was just looking up beer on wikipedia and found the awesomest thing - 40 rock solid reasons to get drunk. This is my bible for friday / saturday afternoons when wondering whether to go out.
and [+] me beeyotches till I burst.

1. If you don’t drink that booze, by God, someone else will.

2. The brewing industry alone employs 1.7 million people and that’s a lot of mouths to feed.

3. Bad ass nicknames like “Chuggybear,” “The Alabama Hamma,” “Pukey McPukerson”
are not awarded to people who stay home to do laundry.

4. Your favorite bar stool needs just one more sitting to break it in.

5. This is the one and only night your soul mate will wander into the bar. Seriously.

6. Word on the street is the booze has been trash talking you all day.

7. Without your brilliant wit and charm all those poor bartenders will be so dreadfully bored.

8. Dude, after what you did last time, you gotta go back out there and explain yourself.

9. It’s far better to have a good time you won’t remember than a dull one you will.

10. Remember that English high school teacher you and your pals used to call “Mr. McTightass?” You are so starting to remind me of him.

11. You can bet something really important and worthy of celebration happened on this day at sometime or another.

12. How the hell can you walk around sober when you’re an insignificant speck in an infinite and uncaring universe?

13. Churchill and FDR got drunk, Hitler didn’t. So what are you, some kind of Nazi?

14. If you don’t you’ll wake up in the morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed, and who the hell wants to go through life acting like a goddamn squirrel?

15. Your friends can’t have a good time without you.

16. Your friends might have a good time without you.

17. The Man says you shouldn’t and you don’t want to upset the Man, eh slavebot?

18. There is a 1000 percent better chance you will land a starring role in the upcoming Paris Hilton video Vegas Orgy.

19. Your lawn is so much more comfortable when you’re loaded.

20. You’re much less likely to remember doing all that embarrassing stuff.

21. That feisty barmaid might finally, you know, pick up on what you’re laying down.

22. Listen, are we down on this goddamn rock to have a good time or watch other people have a good time on TV?

23. Your girlfriend has rented a bunch of chick flicks you can snuggle to.

24. You’re under a lot of stress and if you don’t get crazy drunk you might do something crazy sober.

25. You gotta figure the odds of getting thrown in the drunk tank twice in one month are practically negligible.

26. If you don’t hunt the booze, the booze will surely hunt you.

27. When you write your memoirs you won’t have to go through the hassle of making up a bunch of decadent adventures.

28. Al-Qaeda forbids drinking and since when did you start taking orders from Al-Qaeda?

29. Let’s face it: modern life is a shit storm and booze is the only umbrella without any holes in it.

30. 7-11 nachos with extra cheese substitute and chili only taste good when you can’t remember eating them.

31. You did your goddamn monkey dance for the Man and now you get your monkey treat.

32. God hates the sight of you.

33. God won’t stop staring at you.

34. Your boss gets all weirded out when you get drunk during the day.

35. Three Stooges episodes you’ve watched a hundred times are suddenly hilarious again.

36. The day will come when you will have to single-handedly face death, and there isn’t a person alive who can tell you what will happen next.

37. Hemingway shot himself after being sober for two months.

38. When your coworkers ask “What did you get up to last night?” you can smile all cool like and say “Maaaaaan, you don’t wanna know,” instead of chirping “I alphabetized my DVD collection and found out I have two copies of The Truth About Cats and Dogs! Two!”

39. Remember your childhood dream of meeting a brewery heiress and jet-setting around the world on her dime? You think that’s going to happen while sitting in your goddamn apartment watching Captain Picard surrender the Enterprise for the tenth straight episode?

40. It’s so much easier to ring up those old flames and explain exactly where they went wrong.
Edited by varador at 06:25 CDT, 3 September 2006 - 7975 Hits
1337 POST (34 comments)
Posted by ioz @ 19:14 CDT, 18 April 2006 - iMsg
THIS IS MY 1337 POST!
THIS IS MY 1337 POST!
Edited by Zimmerman at 17:36 GMT, 21st Apr 2006 - 5152 Hits
6 years (18 comments)
Posted by ioz @ 15:23 CST, 2 December 2005 - iMsg
Happy Birthday, Quake III Arena, exactly six years ago you were released and since then have been a source of pure, undiluted entertainment for millions of people. You still are today.
But your younger brother fucking sucks.
5965 Hits
Dark Matter Gun fucking hilarious :)) (21 comments)
Posted by ioz @ 17:41 CDT, 29 October 2005 - iMsg
ok so I got quake 4 multiplayer up and running today, joined my first server... fragyard noobyard its a cool map once you get to know it but then it gets shitty because its so simple. Like I remember this crazy frag I did where I picked up the rail in a 1v1, I heard enemy take the launchpad up to the grenade launcher so I went on the launch pad and just as I flew through the air , got YA,I railed him on the GL platform :)) everybody was like OMFG frag. So I think quake 4 is pretty fun.
Neways, a few hours of gaming later and im playing on xaero gravity... I pick up the dark matter gun and take the launch then bounce pad to the quad... And I have 6 shots with the dark matter gun AND quad. So I start not giving a rats ass about teams - and I fire one dmg at the left platform, one at the right, one left, one right... EXCELLENT! RAMPAGE!! and im like muahahaha i will take over the world camping on the quad platform with my dmg annihilating everybody on both platforms... RELOAD DIS SHIAAT!!
good night :))
Edited by sampo at 05:50 GMT, 31st Oct 2005 - 9818 Hits
Dear Penis (6 comments)
Posted by ioz @ 15:22 CDT, 26 September 2005 - iMsg
Dear Penis - Rodney Carrington - Hangin' with Rodney
Hilarious song, download for much laughs :)
Edited by sampo at 20:46 GMT, 26th Sep 2005 - 3302 Hits
Thoughts... PC gaming, peripherals. (18 comments)
Posted by ioz @ 13:51 CDT, 21 September 2005 - iMsg
The PC gaming world is on fire.
Quake 4, Call of Duty 2, The Witcher, Need for Speed: Most Wanted, Half-Life 2: Aftermath, Gothic 3, F.E.A.R., The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Prince of Persia: Kindred Blades... Tons of highly anticipated titles are gonna hit the shelves between now and Christmas.
PC gaming hardware is going crazy, too. ATi just released their R520 which isn't such hot stuff, but if you've read anything about the Radeon Xpress 200 motherboard chipset and Crossfire, you know they have a LOT of tricks up their sleeve. Of course, nVidia is still dominating with their 7800GTX and SLI mainly because they introduced it earlier and have no problem with production lines, but you can't put ATi down; they're just busy. Or not, I don't know. My point is, before we knew it, WHAM! a new generation of graphics cards has already hit us. Let's not even consider processors. Dual-core/Dual processors and a multithreading orgy are just around the corner...
Logitech's new G series of mice has just been released, as well as Razer's Copperhead. Microsoft has just attempted to rip us off with their Laser Mouse 6000. Other companies such as Raptor Gaming are also trying to keep up with the times of 2000+ dpi peripherals.
Recently, there has also been a return to the good old cloth mats, and I'm seriously considering getting an Everglide Titan. I have an Icemat Black 2 as of now, but the problem is that sweat which condenses onto the cold surface from my hand screws up my mouse. How? I have the Diamondback Plasma, which has an infrared sensor, and it simply cannot track over wet or even slightly damp surfaces, which is trouble. I'm also tired of hearing the mat and having to clean it frequently. 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness.' Well, yes... but no. Not with a mousepad, at least. Would anybody, given my current situation, actually recommend the Everglide Titan?
Lastly, I built a new rig at the end of July (A64 3000+ Venice, 2x512MB Mushkin Redline PC3200 2-3-2-6, Gigabyte X800XL, LanParty nForce 4 Ultra) and I didn't really appreciate watching the F.E.A.R. demo bring the system to its knees. Most details maxed out at 1024x768x32... 50fps average... God damn :)
I also succeeded in modding my nForce 4 Ultra to SLI, but I don't even know why the fuck I did it, considering the fact that I have an ATi card.
These were just some thoughts on how I see PC gaming now.
If you have nothing to post, at least tell me whether I should get the Everglide Titan or not. Thx.
3563 Hits
On probation? (45 comments)
Posted by ioz @ 17:17 CDT, 20 June 2005 - iMsg
Well hello and I just discovered I'm on probation. Since when? How? Who (which admin?)?
I admit that the last bunch of my posts were quite useless flames. But it seems to be the predominant means of discussion on this site. I put some time into writing two serious columns on the next-gen consoles, and only 3-5 users are capable of having a competent discussion, the rest tell me how much my column sucks. I hope you understand that if that's all I get, I'll start giving it back, not at anyone in particular. In that respect, this forum is altogether detrimental and I will be relieved if someone finishes the job and bans me. There isn't anything to left to write on this forum except for flames anyway.
Edited by Sujoy at 12:08 GMT, 27th Jun 2005 - 11926 Hits
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