![shaftwhores only by [EXE]dann](/files/avatars/2007/51852-shaftwhore.gif "shaftwhores only by [EXE]dann"){kind=small}
This made me lol a lot, so I thought I'd put it up, being the [+]whore that i am. All credit is due to Whitecloud though.
If it works lemme know.
How to Get Your Girlfriend to Play Quake 3
It’s what every gamer wants to know. Instead of having to take your headphones off constantly to hear her nagging, you could have a built in training dummy. Besides it’s much easier to get her to give you head while you play Quake if she doesn’t despise the game.
Ok enough joking! I’m completely serious about this. Totally unprovoked, say this to her: “I know I play this game a lot, and I was wondering if maybe I could get you to play. That way we could do something together, and I could talk with you about what I see going on during the games. It would be a great way to get some interactive quality time in. We’d be like a pilot and co-pilot kind of team.”  Then tell her it’s not like any other game there is. Then tell her why you enjoy playing it and how you have so much control over the game with the mouse. And go on from there.
Start her playing against bots only for at least a few weeks. Internet lag and players who dominate can make games against people unenjoyable.
Constantly let her know how much you like just watching her play. It really is fun to watch.
Remember: Any good boyfriend times two or three items for her while she plays. You get practice too.
Turn the graphics and sound details up a little bit. And make her a .cfg file that has the detail up.
Bind a few funny chat keys for her. People will start to reply back to her. All ladies love to chat.
Give her a woman’s alias so people will talk to her.
Bind a key to toggle her alias. In case she gets harassed she can change her name to a manly name like Sepultura or something.
It helps a lot if you take turns with her every five or ten minutes. It keeps it exciting, doesn’t tire her out, and doesn’t make her bored if you want to play.
How to cure her motion sickness
• Get her warmed up before she gets in front of the computer. Some physical activity helps. If she’s been up and around recently it shouldn’t overwhelm her. Also, she needs to be a little bit motivated to get frags or else, on a deep mental level, she won’t want to accept all the visuals. They will be too much for her eyes to keep up with, and this is what causes most of the sickness. She kind of has to be a little bit eager to see around each next corner.
• Make sure she doesn’t try to play cold after not playing for a few days.
• Show her that it doesn’t matter if she can perceive the screen in three dimensions. And move the mouse around carelessly after you say that. Thinking of it two dimensionally is just fine.
• Make sure the sensitivity is very low.
• Make sure you set these settings for her (and for you too):
cg_bobroll 0
cg_bobpitch 0
cg_bobup 0
cg_runroll 0
cg_runpitch 0
They steady the screen.
• Have her play the same maps a lot. Familiar maps don’t cause nearly as much sickness. Give her map walk-throughs before she plays a new map. Move the mouse slowly and steadily when you do.
• It’s easier on her dizziness if she plays in games with only a few people.
• Get her to stop playing before she shows any signs of eye strain or frustration.
If it works lemme know.
How to Get Your Girlfriend to Play Quake 3
It’s what every gamer wants to know. Instead of having to take your headphones off constantly to hear her nagging, you could have a built in training dummy. Besides it’s much easier to get her to give you head while you play Quake if she doesn’t despise the game.
Ok enough joking! I’m completely serious about this. Totally unprovoked, say this to her: “I know I play this game a lot, and I was wondering if maybe I could get you to play. That way we could do something together, and I could talk with you about what I see going on during the games. It would be a great way to get some interactive quality time in. We’d be like a pilot and co-pilot kind of team.”  Then tell her it’s not like any other game there is. Then tell her why you enjoy playing it and how you have so much control over the game with the mouse. And go on from there.
Start her playing against bots only for at least a few weeks. Internet lag and players who dominate can make games against people unenjoyable.
Constantly let her know how much you like just watching her play. It really is fun to watch.
Remember: Any good boyfriend times two or three items for her while she plays. You get practice too.
Turn the graphics and sound details up a little bit. And make her a .cfg file that has the detail up.
Bind a few funny chat keys for her. People will start to reply back to her. All ladies love to chat.
Give her a woman’s alias so people will talk to her.
Bind a key to toggle her alias. In case she gets harassed she can change her name to a manly name like Sepultura or something.
It helps a lot if you take turns with her every five or ten minutes. It keeps it exciting, doesn’t tire her out, and doesn’t make her bored if you want to play.
How to cure her motion sickness
• Get her warmed up before she gets in front of the computer. Some physical activity helps. If she’s been up and around recently it shouldn’t overwhelm her. Also, she needs to be a little bit motivated to get frags or else, on a deep mental level, she won’t want to accept all the visuals. They will be too much for her eyes to keep up with, and this is what causes most of the sickness. She kind of has to be a little bit eager to see around each next corner.
• Make sure she doesn’t try to play cold after not playing for a few days.
• Show her that it doesn’t matter if she can perceive the screen in three dimensions. And move the mouse around carelessly after you say that. Thinking of it two dimensionally is just fine.
• Make sure the sensitivity is very low.
• Make sure you set these settings for her (and for you too):
cg_bobroll 0
cg_bobpitch 0
cg_bobup 0
cg_runroll 0
cg_runpitch 0
They steady the screen.
• Have her play the same maps a lot. Familiar maps don’t cause nearly as much sickness. Give her map walk-throughs before she plays a new map. Move the mouse slowly and steadily when you do.
• It’s easier on her dizziness if she plays in games with only a few people.
• Get her to stop playing before she shows any signs of eye strain or frustration.
- Attached Misc File: 49082-whitecloud_s_quake_3_strategy_guide_ver.zip (26 Nov 2006, 119KB, 136 downloads)
12617 Hits
tbone
