what if after a player dies - a 2D layout of the map pops out, letting him choose a spawn position himself that he will respawn at right after clicking it? and if he doesnt do that within the usual respawn time then he just gets the random forced respawn.

in addition same map overlay could be used right after both players ready up to let them drop enemy firstspawn positions in a alternating way - with the game starting when only 2 positions are left.