*A sweeping camera shot from the ceiling pans to show a busy urban club with a stage in the middle and three figures standing on it. The club is packed and people are visibly excited for a yet unknown reason. As the camera zooms in on the stage, we see that the figure on the left is a thin middle-aged man in a t-shirt and a not very expensive yet not too bad looking suit. His gaze is cold but restless, but for some reason this does not appear down to performance anxiety or stress, but possibly down to some unhealthy fixation. There's a certain mystique that appears to be shrouded in a level of unpleasantness to him. The figure standing on the opposite appears to be a piggish man in an unsporting, slouched complexion in a blue t-shirt one size too small and a baseball cap. From the set up, it is pretty clear that we are witnessing the beginnings of a rap battle. The camera pans to the emcee in the middle, and it is revealed to be Rakim, of the Eric B. and Rakim fame, arguably one of the most prominent MCs in hip-hop's short-lived history*
Rakim: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THIS IS THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! THE RAP BATTLE BETWEEN RAYTHENOOB AND JAMERIO. First we're going to go over the ground rules, then I will flip this coin here and the victor will decide who kicks off the battle. This is an 8-mile style face-off with each participant getting a choice of song and one minute to freestyle. The winner will be decided by the crowd response and should this be indecisive, we'll do another round. Are we clear?
*Both participants nod*
Rakim: Y'all deciding on who...
Jamerio (interrupting): I'm heads cos I am the best and I'm in the front.
Raythenoob: I don't care, let's start.
Rakim: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAILS.
Raythenoob: K i'll go first.
Rakim: Tell the DJ your songs and we're going live.
*The instrumental version of Erick Sermon - Maintain starts playing*
Raythenoob:
HUSH! Welsh boy bout to get crushed
Jamie get your ass home, have a bash.
But better be quiet, don't wake your brother
Stealth reassurance is yet another
... Of your four made up businesses
Dude everyone sees this shit, for what it really is:
Rich busy people don't post 200 times a day constantly
You're just a leech, you procrastinate all your energy
While I expose tierslummers relentlessly
I was the saviour of Quake Live
Until SyncError made it die
Yokouno and Gubensis are bad men
I'd know how to deal with them
Should have made me forum admin
So then I could BAN THEM
And set that cunt Mancubus on fire
And then gracefully retire
Oh shit where am I? I think I got side-tracked
Let's get back to turning Jam-Jam's life into a metaphor for Iraq
You wiped your ass with your dog
And you never finished high school
I don't need this part to rhyme, I just wanted to show that you suck
You see, I was the saviour of Quake Live
Until SyncError made it die
Yoko...Oh fuck I think the meds are wearing off so I better end this battle rap
Jamerio your perception of an amazing life is unimpressive and quite crap
Also this ain't your scene, in a rap battle you can't re-edit your mistakes
So take your virgin ass home before you DNF this shit cos your keyboard breaks
*The beat to Dead Prez - Hip-Hop drops*
*Jamerio stays silent until beat is taken off air after 60 seconds*
Jamerio: the beat to my song reached a higher intensity so I won the rap battle.
madbringer
![shaftwhores only by [EXE]dann](/files/avatars/2007/51852-shaftwhore.gif "shaftwhores only by [EXE]dann"){kind=small}
