XSR's newest weekly column featuring real life questions from real life gamers like you. Email you're questions to [email protected] or [email protected]

Dear sit and seven,

I've been seeing my fiancé for six months now and we just got engaged. I love her very much but I'm worried because I notice her taking up more and more of my time so I don't get as much gaming in as I'd like. She used to be supportive of my gaming but now she complains a lot more and I don't even play as much as I used to. What should I do? Is this going to get worse?

Worried in Michigan


Dear Worried in Michigan,

You have every right to have worried. Now that you are semi-tied to this woman she is going to mold you into the 'perfect husband' she wants. This is fairly common practice but the general rule for women is to start right away, not after six months (this may reflect her intelligence level). The important thing to do is hold your ground, say no, and don't let her change you. Just say No. 'No honey, I'm playing my game.' 'No honey, I don't want to cuddle instead of play.' 'No honey, we can't go out tonight because I have a match.'

However, you must be wary, she will start to try and bribe you first by offering sex, then by taking it away. Don't let this phase you. Let it be known that you don't need her for sexual gratification and if she doesn't put out, you'll have finished whipping up a batch by the time she's out of the driveway. After she gives up trying to change you she'll make the decision to stay or leave. If she stays, you have a decent wife, if not, wish her luck on finding a man willing to give up his life to become her 'perfect husband.'

sit


Love is a commitment in it's own. When you love somebody, you're most likely willing to do anything for them. However, this does not mean that you SHOULD do anything for them. As sit says, most women are looking to mold their significant other into a fleshy pile of man tool. The keys to a lasting relationship are in your pocket, the key ring consists of love, determination, commitment and compromise. What you need to unlock your problem in this situation is the compromise key.

I suggest maybe creating a schedule. If she doesn't agree, simply deny what she's asking for until she realizes that you are a person and have needs just as any other human being. She will soon realize that she has been selfish and should at least give your ideas a bit of thought. I wish you the best of luck in your new commitment.

seven





Dear sit and seven:

For the past year and a half now I have been an avid online gamer. I started my career with id Software's 'Quake III: Arena' (I'm not sure you've heard of it, but it's a great game, very balanced). What I really love about the game is that after a long day of work I can come home and immerse myself in a world completely different than that of what I live in. For 4 hours a day, I become 'Sarge'.

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend decided she wanted to live with me. You might say we 'moved in together'. Well, one thing led to another, and soon enough we found ourselves sleeping in the same room. After a while, I built up the courage to push together our twin beds and hold her..I guess you could say my hormones got the best of me and we ended up...'doing it'. Strangely enough, during intercourse I began to act very rough and screamed out 'call me Sarge'. Since then I've been constantly requesting this of her when making love.

I'm just curious, is this something that I should consider OK...Or am I in need of some therapy?

Signed,
Enlisted in Arizona


Dear Enlisted in Arizona,

First off, congratulations on a successful relationship! Reading this question, I can see how you might be concerned as to whether or not this behavior is something that you can consider 'alright'. To be honest, it is all a matter of taste. When I read your question, the first thought that pops into my mind is 'what the hell?' However, I think it's best to keep in mind that being open in a relationship is what leads to a FULFILLING relationship. I don't believe that suppressing your need to be called 'Sarge' and treat your significant other 'roughly' is cause for any sort of therapy. Many people consider role-playing to be a completely healthy part of a relationship.

So long as nobody is being hurt in your relationship, I'm going to say that you should continue your role-playing. You might even try checking out your local army surplus store to add a little solidity to your fantasies.

Good luck soldier,
seven


Like seven said, congratulations on a successful relationship! I'm a huge fan of role-playing and on occasion have asked women to play Major from Q3:A. Its very healthy and very fun if done correctly so I strongly encourage you take it even further because there are endless possibilities. Try branching out into other Quake 3 characters. I suggest some of the following situations to act out with your lover:

Xaero (you) in the hospital for knee surgery and the nurse (her) consoles him.
Hunter (her) chasing down Sarge (you) in a passionate rage. Have her attack and dominate you.
Klesk (you) attacking and taking advantage of Slash (her).

You can also switch roles. Go to your local adult store and buy toys for restraint and maybe a strap on type tool. You must remember however to be careful that you don't take it to far. Come up with a word that means you need to stop. Sometimes phrases like "no stop" and "don't do that" fit into the characters so you need to pick a word that you wouldn't normally hear during such activities. A personal favorite of mine is "oranges" but you can use anything.

gl and hf,
sit